Feel Better

a poem, a song

two blurry nighttime photos I took in a yard I miss terribly, then uploaded to a filter on instagram to make it look like a polaroid.

…hoping to make this into a song.
a work in progress for now. imagine the vocals all reverb-y…

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It would feel better
to lay down
all day

but that isn’t something
time
and work
and life

would ever allow.

When your kiss doesn’t land straight
the pain, it shocks me

because once there was a dream
that has since been killed off

that if you hurt me enough times
someone would swoop in
and save me.

That dream died
when I stopped putting stake in saving
stopped glorifying infatuation.

The kind of burning behind the eyes
you find when you stay up past midnight,

fighting battles
tossing and turning
until you give it up for daylight.

You find the spike in my emotions
exciting
love to have me begging
for clarity

Want your love
to demand my presence
wrap all around me

I settle

always settle

for a shaking hand
sliding across my back
warmth cut at the source
I brace myself

know
you’re going to
stop before I’m ready

My arms pinned
to the wall
with the sharp
edge of your intentions

I stare in awe
at the way you
siphon the light
from my eyes

you don’t need to move anything
I’ve been practicing all my life
finding clues, stray pieces
I make them all align.

Build the tower of my dreams
assemble a window
to watch the trees—

all I’ll ever need.

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Thanks for being here

Did you know…
if you decide to become a paid subscriber,
I will mail you a postcard size art print
with a poem or message handwritten on the back.

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Additionally, all of my art posted with my poems is available for purchase.

With the art, I will include a personalized note pertaining to your Substack account, a poem handwritten on the back of it, or something you may request.

Please DM me if you are interested : )

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