Don't Hold Out

all these eyes watching

acrylic paint and micron pen art drawn by me {Lila Cave-Park}

Don't hold out on me
no,
not on me

not

me.

With this one life
I keep you close—
keep
close.

for it to end
it must begin,
begin again

implode
and dissipate.

All these eyes watching
I'll run away with
run away—

we'll run.

I feed
off your
spiraling emotions.

Line my pockets
with distaste
foul pieces
that unfurl
from your tongue.

I’ll run
with the one
who can take it
handle the darkness
hold me
when it’s hardest.

Once you’re behind
out of sight
I don’t feel

anything

until I get still
see
that I’ve got it all
memorized.

Every last
stab
puncture
blood dried
stains
you can’t hide.

My heat gasping
reaching
for
what was never there.

I want it
need to hold it
now.

I remember
what your eyes
looked like
watching mine
when you wanted something
so fucking bad

you go
and make us both cry.

Your wrath
a dark cloud
I hopelessly live inside.

When was it
supposed to be
my time
my turn

to be loved
for nothing

to be held
like it was all
meant for something?

You grow
in the power
love knowing
I haven’t forgotten
my cower.

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a lo-fi garageband recording (2016) electric guitar & mic set up in my basement

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Additionally, all of my art is available for purchase.

The original art featured with this poem is $150, shipped free within the US (outside US shipping costs vary). A color copy on nice paper is $30.

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