Dread

what's beyond the brightness

by author

Sunshine spilling
my bedsheets, bare skin
a blurry goodbye
a warm nestling heartbeat.

If I remain,
nothing sharp can reach me,
golden sunbeams
floating in reverie—

I’m not naive,
know it can never last,
that way of rest feels more like
capture, control,
a solid stone wall
I’m not allowed to break past.

Our love feels permanent,
then I watch them torn apart,
trying to live,
you’re not fortunate enough,
rights ripped away,
hatred, its own twisted art.

Hands grasping the bedspread
like it can anchor me to safety,
birds sing, chirping in layers
silently wonder why we’ve been lucky lately.

Small enough that fate doesn’t hear it,
don’t target me yet—
not ready to endure that pain,
truly don’t believe my heart can take it.

A special kind of ache
in avoiding dreams,
future plans and hope—
the idea of building something that we believe in,
I’m not fooled,
I know we just cope.

The soul I see in your eyes,
the part that meets me in secret—
in wordless warmth,
a life we improvise,
I’ll hold you close,
protect.

Steaming heat,
wet green grass
weaving in and out of our feet
a mountain that won’t hesitate
to take it all away
in one breath,
one life broken into millions,
jagged edges that stick in the ground.

I’ll watch the tide
carry the truth in us
up towards a beaming sunshine,
can’t compete with its intention.

Our mortality, our inevitable defeat,
we play out our parts intricately—
leave our hearts gaping,
dread everything it takes from me.

---

---

---